Monday, May 3, 2010

Lost in the light

The light is blinding in my mind. Too many sparks, too many voices. Thousands of ideas, thousands of creations that are wanting to become physically present. But where do I start? I feel that there are too many paths that all look the same, and only one is the right one to take.

One at a time as i have always been told, but I have never been able to do that. I have always read more than two books at a time, done two tasks at the same time, written several stories at the same time.....and they usually end up the same way, half done. forgotten. I know I am afraid to complete and present a failing attempt and even there are many inspirational quotes stating it is better to fail that never attempt at all....they do nothing for me. they are words that lack the impact. I guess I will just have to force myself to change my mediocre ways and stick to something. I guess I finally have to find myself among the many false images I have of myself (the delicate flower, the angry demon, the whimsical dancer, the avid composer, the silent observer...) Am I all in one or one from all? Maybe I'm that quiet shy one hidden within the fibers of my corpus callosum. I'll find her...she has been warned.
I hope you don't mind my ramblings...just some mind searching :)

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