New blog, new me, new outlook

I have decided to move my blog over to here. You might be wondering why I decided to move all of a sudden, and well. I have been taking some time to really think about myself, who I am, what I can and want to do, and have come to realize that I need to respect myself and give myself what I deserve, and that is a more professional place where I can showcase my abilities. Blogger was fun, and a place to learn and practice. Now I believe I am ready to give it my all and be Wooni and not be a shamed.

I am proud of what I can do and not afraid to show everyone who I am. So, hopefully you will pop on by my new home on typepad. and give me some feed back on what you think. I am still working on the design and schematics of it all. But It will soon be a place that I can call home.

See you soon :)

Frost, snow and attaining warmth

All of a sudden winter decided to reach the Palatine forest in late January. It had only rained and I began to change my perception of winter. I told myself that It really wasn't so bad, or so cold, or maybe I had gotten used to the cold German weather. I was wrong. My body is not used to it, quite the opposite. My skin is red and sore from the cold dry air, my throat is constantly soar, my nose always stuffy and I can feel the cold trapped within my bones. Since yesterday It has been terribly cold in the village. There has been snow, which does make it look quite beautiful, and One is able to make silly faces on the car window.

Because of the cold I have decided to stay inside more and continue with my crochet. I am almost done with Lindita's blanket. I have not done mor eof the shawl or the bigger blanket, but instead I have been thinking about painting and returning to cloth. Maybe some time in the near future I will work with cloth again, but for the moment I am still enjoying drawing and crocheting. They have relaxed me, and help me conquer my anxiety.

A blanket for lindita

This is my first post using our new tablet. And let me tell you it is awesome. I love the mobility, the screen quality, and feeling like a futuristic person that has allthe knowledge of mankind within a slim piece of metal. Hopefully that will not change any time soon. I am closely watching what is happening with SOPA, PIPA and ACTA. I believe knowledge should be free to obtain and share. However, i do not think someone should profit from someone elses idea or creation.  Either way i could talk for hours about my outrage, discomfort, and anxiety towards what looks like the downfall of the internet. but I will leave it at that. Instead I will show you the blanket I am making for Lindita. It is a circular ripple blanket that I found on Ravelry.  The design is from smooth fox lover. She has other wonderful crochet patterns.

The pattern is very easy to follow and you could do a variation of colors and designs.

I am also still working on the Japanese flower shawl. I love to see how it becomes more of its self. I only have 13 out of the 46 flowers but already I can see it take form. I love when something you are making turns from a pure thought into something that is laying there in front of you.

lately I have been having the desire to go back to writing. It is part of the journey back to myself, in order to find my voice. ANd with this desire to return to writing I have been thinking a lot about my story that I have been developing for the past 4 years. It has mainly been a thought that has remained stuck in my head for all these years. Sometimes scenes flash before me, or a description of a character, or a rule of this orwelin society. It is a story that I have come to love and want to keep on feeling and growing. However, I no longer have the desire for it to be a mere written story, but instead something more. And it is that morethat I have been thinking about.

The premise of the story is about a drone type society that has lost its human aspect and has more of a working hive type feel to it. Each individual is given a job that maintains this type of society and one of the jobs that only a small group can perform is to remove dreams, memories and emotions from the individuals of these societies. The main character of the story is one of these memorandae and she comes across an individual that has to be completely erased, and as punishment he will be left empty and will roam the streets as a warning to the others of what would happen if they ever dreamt, felt or thought outside of the system. This individual has many memories of things that are unknown to this society, such as trees, birds, nture in general, music, laughter, and other things. And this woman is amazed and keeps these memories and implants them into herself. There is much more but I will leave it to that.

Flower

After searching through every single venue possible I finally found the pattern for this flower. I saw it first as a shawl. A shawl full of colorful flowers, and I fell in love. The shawl reminded me of my favorite film Amelie, springtime, happiness and it was a challenge. I have just started to crochet and so far I am still working on my wave blanket. 

I have found so much comfort in crochet. 

I have also finished my drawing "Full of Color" a reflection of my feelings. I feel so worn out, tired, dull. However, I feel and hope that I still have vibrancy and color and dreams within me, somewhere. I actually like it. I began to draw it while the mister and I were watching the "Fisher King" with Robin Williams. A strange 80's movie ( I love 80's movies) and the acceptance of insanity made me want to reach in and pull out my own. 

However, I cannot just let my craziness out and about whenever I want. Even though I would love to walk around singing at the top of my lungs, laughing at the air and wearing mismatched socks and colorful crocheted sweaters with my hair in a frenzy I must leave my crazy to prance around in the studio or splash it on the white page. 

So as my normal self I accompanied my mister and his twin to the top most point of the town. A place I look at every day, but had never gone to visit. I was a wonderful sight, a wonderful place, where peace and joy and serenity meet and you can actually turn into a giant and observe the village dwellers and surrounding valleys and hills. A podium of observance I call it. 

And upon this podium there is a portal, or really a memorial for the ones who died during the first world war, and one can see the faces of the 6 gentlemen of the town that were lost to the horrid violence and aftermath of such a war. However, I saw it as a portal. Not sure yet what type of portal it is, but a portal none the less. 

Full of color

I have been very absent. Still searching for my words, my voice. And through this journey I found this image waiting to come out. It is still not done, but I just wanted to show you all what I have been up to. I love the mixture of text and drawing. It brings more to the surface.

Also I have been learning how to crochet. Lately I have found that the cloth asks too many questions that I can either not answer at the moment or do not want to. The yarn has been more serene. It seems to be more accepting and instead of asking merely waits and even sings a song of rhythm. At the moment I am attempting to make a blanket. Something that can contain a moment, a thought, a desire. A blanket made by someone for someone will always have that feeling of love and comfort. You can feel it within the loops. It is a lovely thing. And I would love to have created such a physical state of love. I hope I do not sound so crazy. I have not been sleeping well for months now. But even if I do sound crazy. It's always a wonderful way to view the world.

I wish you all a happy 2012

A slowed rush

For no apparent reason what so ever I had the urge to rip out a page of a book and draw on it, skratch out words, silence ts thoughts as if those words were just to loud. I have been having a problem with expressing myself, maybe because I have to do so in German, maybe because I cannot seem to find the right words. But whatever the reason I had this urge to some hoe find some silence. So I grabbed a book that someone had given me but was not at all something I would ever read and tore out a random page. At first I felt guilt, destroying someones words. But still this urge was gnawing at me. I needed silence.

With the torn page in front of me I just stared at it. I was unsure how to proceed. So naturally I took a ruler and drew a line to remove the ragged torn edge. I stopped myself. How limiting. Even when I want to silence, remove, renew, and begin I am still forced but my limiting conditions, reminds or neatness and order. I erased the line. I then picked up a pen And at the corners drew serpant type creautres that wanted to eat the words. Ad then in the middle my renewed yet old self, a butterfly surrounded by circles and darkness.

I did not however silence all the words. I could not do that to the person who wrote them. But instead I merely hushed their loudness around me.

The funny thing is that the whole time I was doing this I felt this sensation of trying to hurry myself yet doing them slowly, anxious but at the same time calm...This is the second time I feel this contradicting within me, as if I were two within one, or just that is about to split into many.

Either way....

absence

I have been away fro quite a while. My needle has grown cold and the piles of cloth dusty. I have not had the urge to write, create, or even sometimes think. This adjusting to a new life has been hard. I do not want to complain or pity myself. But merely speak the truth. It is difficult with an almost three year old and even more difficult with my three year old that has too much energy. He is a lot to handle and I have felt my time, my strength, my sanity dwindle. There have been days where I have broken down and have felt like an empty shell unaware of who I am or what I like. I am slowly trying to find my way back. But it is difficult.