History that binds us

 Unaware of my history, I was amazed by what lay hidden within the boxes of my past. Laying in a flattened box was the image of my great grandmother Carmelita. A strong woman who was afraid to suffer the same despair as her mother, who was left penniless with a your Carmelita. Mygreat great grandmother lived with relatives while she sold embroidered tablecloths, nakins, and other fiber goods. Carmelita was taught to never depend on a man to provider her with a life, and even though she married a very well to do Fulgencio Roa, she created her own milk and butter delivery business that gave her financial peace of mind.

I was unaware that such strength was part of me.

So, as my son sat studying his alphabet I wondered, am I as strong as them? I do not feel such strength. I weaken at the sight of doubt, mine pulls on me while other´s pushes me down. I limit myself out of fear that I will be seen as too odd, or even worse a failure. But now with the knowledge of these women, their stories, my persistence to create and release it has grown. I can feel their blood pulsating through my veins. They whisper "sigue, no te dejes" (continue, do not let them bother you).

As my son recalls his infancy with a forgotten pacifier, I revive that driving force within me, that nagging tap on my shoulder to go into the studio and create.

Our wedding gift to our guest. A small painting on glass of Usaquen, done by a very talented Colombian artist.