It was a tough end of week. Thursday night as I was lifting my son out of the bathtub my back gave out and for some magical reason I was still able to dress him (while sobbing) and place him in his crib. While grasping the walls I was able to go down stairs, so that Basti would not hear me cry, and sat on the sofa.
I waited for my husband to arrive from his trip to London. Unable to move my legs. Hungry. Needing to use the bathroom.
At 11pm he arrived after driving almost 2 hours from the airport in Frankfurt. I was broken. I could not lift myself past 90 degrees and just getting up from the sofa was a journey of several attempts and failures. With his help I made it upstairs and into bed.
Sleep lingered above my head, a dream that I so desperately craved but never came. At 6 am my son decided it was time to wake up, and since we at the moment are in the same room I was forced to remain awake as well.
The day went by going to doctors and gripping cold and moist buildings only to hear that the only comfort I could achieve would be through rest, heat, and time. I was told that I needed to not lift heavy things, and to take it easy because things were happening that shouldn't be happening yet.
After the weekend was over, with only a few moments of rest, I am now able to walk. However, the pain is still there, a reminder of what I should be doing.
Yesterday after realizing that I cannot take it easy, my husband needs to work and I need to take care of a toddler, I created the guardians. One who could reach all at the perfect time, one that had the wisdom that brings me comfort and one that is pure light that leads me out of my abyss.
It is sad when you can only rely on yourself and even then you cannot even count on your own body to help you out.
At least I have the guardians...
sorry about your back. you might try wearing one of those back braces that are sold at the drugstore. it helped me many years ago when i had severe back problems.love the faces on your guardians.
ReplyDeleteWell Wooni, when I blew up the photo I thought I heard some voices, I then put my ear very near to the computer and I could cleary hear some whispering: ...we will help and guide and take care ...as long as YOU don't forget to take care of yourselffff .(at least I thought it was something like that ;-) ...)
ReplyDeleteTake care Wooni, rest a bit whenever you can!
i hope your guardians are working and will soon bring a smile to your face!
ReplyDeleteWill send afew positive vibes your way lol and hope the Guardians make use of the goodwill sent to keep you out of pain!
ReplyDeleteTake care and do things slowly!
thank you all for your encouragement and kind words :) I am not used to doing things slowly, but sth I have to do.
ReplyDeletewooni, hope your back is doing better. i remember those days of not having a choice about the toddler work that needs done...your guardians are wonderful and i hope they continue to give you strength.
ReplyDeleteDo hope you're feeling better soon. I like your guardians.
ReplyDeleteHi Wooni, just read this post about your back .. I'm so sorry .. I had an acute lumbar strain to my lower back so I'm familiar with how debilitating the pain can be .. now I suffer from sciatica. I have found the best medicine for my back has been a chiropractor. I don't know if you have tried that .. but definately rest is on order!! I will send you good healing thoughts and your Guardians are most beautiful!! I am glad that you have them.. I hope you feel better soon!!!
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