New month

It has been only a couple of days since the last time I blogged. However, it feels like an eternity. I feel as if I have been mourning my aunts death for so long, but it has only been over a week. I am no longer in the stage of constant sadness, but instead,, because I am not in Colombia I am reminded only every now and then that in fact she is actually gone. I find it hard to believe that this could have happened. It is as if I am observing what would life be like if all the wrong things were to happen, and I want to wake up and return to the reality were my grandfather is still telling jokes, whistling at the door, and my aunt is singing songs and calling for my uncle "viejo!" 

Instead this reality is of death, gloom, sadness, disease, and grief. I have not been able to sew since my aunts death, but instead I have been obsessed with drawing. I draw whenever, and whatever I can, 

the living room, the big leather chair, 

my dog, 

Basti, 

my husband, 

a half eaten strudel. 

I think the reason is because when I sew my mind can wander freely because every stitch is a mechanical process where I do not need to think. With drawing my mind is occupied with shadows, line depth, angles, curves, intensity, color, etc.