Oh the pain

 

On Tuesday the vibrance of color, the perseption of the world, was modified. My whole existance became dull and stagnate. On Tuesday I found myself sobbing next to my son's play pen as he stopped playing and stared at me, for he had never heard be gasp for air. I was shaky, dizzy, lost within my own grief that my beloved aunt, my twin, had passed away.She had been in the ICU since her open heart surgery and after a brief improvement in her health the dreaded wolf took her. 

I had dreamt of this happening a few days before her operation, but disregarded my thoughts as me just worrying and being a pesimist. But the same image haunted me as the days went by. I saw my cousin crying her heart out saying " my mother has died." However, the day of the operation, I nervously had my phone next to me hoping that i would not recieve the dreaded phone call. 

After 7 hours of waiting my mother finally called. She sounded happy, and I instantly knew all was alright. I spoke to my uncle and he also sounded aliviated. So I told myself there was nothing to worry about and felt happy. Nevertheless, my concerns were still there. I kept on hearing my cousin in my head saying those words over and over again, and with every passing day I would call home to hear that she was still in the ICU that she was having some bad moments but overall she was fine. I knew it was not the case. I did not bother my uncle I knew he had to spend as much time with my aunt.

On Monday, I found myself sleepless and calling my mother at midnight here in Germany, but only 6pm in Colombia. I told her how I had been having a horrible feeling and she told me the same. That night I emailed my uncle telling how much I wanted him and my aunt to know that I was with them, that I loved them and how I wanted everything to be alright. I said " I know everything will turn out alright", I lied. I knew no such thing. I only dreamed that my aunt would be take back home. I wanted so deeply to believe my cousing and my uncle would have her for many more years.

But the next day, after trying to convince myself that I needed to be happy, calm for my aunt. I received the phone call....and I am still lost

Broken needle

Well, no one ever told me that sewing can be a hazardous job, but I found out today that whenever i am using the sewing machine I must wear my glasses. I broke my needle for the first time today, and one piece flew towards me eye. I am very lucky it did not go into my eye.....that was a close one. Lesson learned.

The reason it broke was because I was sewing together my Valentines day wall hanging, and here is a glimpse of it so far....

What do you guys think? Is it cheesy enough? I hope so. I actually like cheesy lovey dovey things for Valentines day, hehe.

Yesterday i saw a very interesting trailer in Schopfloch, as we were walking back from the bakery. I assume it is for Fasching (carnival), however it could be the someone time traveled to the middle ages in that trailer and then just added rubber wheels....you never know. I like to think it was the later option and that a medieval wench was peek out from one of those small windows observing me as I took the picture. Maybe she was even baffled by the black magical box I was holding and pointing at her house. Maybe she even prepared a protection potion and smothered her house with it fearing that the malicious witch with the magic box would not return.

Anyway I went of track just a tad, I just realized yesterday that getting out and about during the winter is essential to my sanity.

On a sewing note I am still finishing my sweetie. I have finished my bear. I will add pictures once I have figured out the flaws and fixed them. I am also on the draft stage of creating my son's 1st Birthday gift yay!!!! It is a playmat that will have detachable items......the suspense is in the air!!! I am also working on my valentines day wall hanging which I believe tomorrow I will have a picture for you to see it.

Thanks for stopping by

headach, cold, soup, and blindfold

Princess and the pea by Edmund Dulac

If I had to pick four words to describe my day they would be as mentioned in the title. Why you might ask would I pick those for words? Well......even though it is a secret I will explain a little. I woke with a horrible headache that began the previous night, grew while I "slept" (it is difficult to have a peaceful slumber when you have a headache), and festered when I woke up. Luckily my husband was nice enough to give Basti his breakfast. I finally forced myself to get out of bed, hoping it would not become a migraine and was greeted with the bitter coldness that is a German winter. I am still not used to the seasons.

Since I was and still am so terribly cold I decided to make ajiaco, which is a typical stew from Colombia. It was delicious, if I don't say so myself. As I continued to shiver throughout the day I drew something (the secretive part) that might or might not contain a blindfold, and might or might not be my husband's Valentines day gift and my new wall hanging, maybe....maybe not....you'll just have to wait and see. But if it were the case it is looking awesome!

On a sewing note (or stitch hehe...) I have sewn my Sweetie. She is now a 3d figure. However, she is still a white canvas. I believe that my tomorrow I will give her some features and a few hearts, maybe even a skirt.
I have also been added to the European street Etsy group and their blog. I am very excited to participate in their challenges. This week it is petite and cute. And I am a bit stumped. I was considering making a petite bear or a petite gnome.

I am in a mythological state of mind.

I have also decided to add a troll to the Alphamales, and maybe even unicorn.

New look

I have been playing around with my blogs template and I think I have finally found a layout and picture that I am happy with. I have always been that type of person that is constantly changing her look, hairdo, etc. But I think it will stay this way for a while. What do you guys think? I really like how all the Alphamales are gathered around the jolly old piano ready to start singing.

On projects that I am working on at the moment, I will list a few. I am making a monk bag, lets see how it turns out, that I might donate to the craft hope project for Haiti. It all depends if it comes out looking sell-able. I am also working on a story about climate change for a contest over on authonomy. I am making a recovery kit for my beloved aunt who is currently in recovery after a very successful open heart surgery. Just another example that the power of prayer works! And I am going to start on my valentines day goodies, maybe a lovable bear, embroidery patterns, and a bouquet of hearts. I am excited. Also I am making a, They are called agendas in spanish, calender book? I guess world be the equivalent in english. We shall see how it turns out. I plan on hand drawing everything...so wish me luck. I seem to have a lot on my plate. Now if only I had the time ......

Thanks for stopping by

New Alphamale

I had to leave Monsieur Mensch aside for a while, and focus on something else. Therefore I created a new Alphamale. Let me introduce you to Harriette the Hare with a healing heart. She was fun to create, becuase this time I experimented with using color pencils to draw her face, and I really liked how it turned out.

I do have a major problem though, the fabric that I used for the detail around her face and the pocket fray, and I do not know how to avoid that. Do any of you have any suggestions? I would truly appreciate them.

The history of Valentines day

I was reading on the history of Valentines day and it seems the connection between the Saints and romance was all a misunderstanding.  Geoffrey Chaucer wrote a romantic phrase containing the word valentine in his Parlement of Foules (1382)

"For this was on seynt Volantynys day

Whan euery bryd comyth there to chese his make."

However, it was for the kings marriage to his young bride in May, not in February.However, the connection remained and that is where we get this holiday. In the Victorian era it was a day when young lovers would send love notes to each other. Some, the majority, were sent anonymously and were actually quite racy for the times. I love how people were so sexually charged during that era and since it was not allowed to express it you find it in everything and everywhere, hidden in plain sight, thus creating a rather erotic era. Ironic....

So as I sit here listening to my favorite band, Dead Can Dance, I ponder on love, sentiments, lust, excitement, energy. It is both odd and common how every thing is connected. Love, hate, life, death, beginning, end, past, future, man, woman, evil, good, chaos, stillness. Each would not exist without the other.

For the past few days I have been thinking about energy. It has been a topic that has intrigued me since I took one of the best classes ever. It was called Occult Literature. The premise of the class was to study in depth the gothic genre, but it went much deeper than that. We found ourselves studying quantum physics and the properties of light, Carl Jung, and death. I see existence different because of that class, and I thank Dr. Moss.