The meaning of things

As my mother in law's birthday approaches the idea of a gift (a significant gift) keeps on glooming over me. Is there real meaning of turning 70? I do not ask this in a mean way, but is just living without getting killed a real accomplishment? Or, what I think to be true, is the meaning within how one lives their life, even if it is to 13. She was a young child during the end of World War 2. She married young and had five children spread out throughout her 20's and 30's. She  has always worked hard as a housewife, and for a while as the fabric manager of their furniture company that went under. She has been a caring grandmother who whenever asked takes care of her grandchildren when her children are busy working. She is an admirable woman. She deserves to be honored and with that to receive a gift that shows her how mush she means.

I have been going back and forth with the idea of sending her something that I have made. However, there are many questions that have risen with this idea. Will she appreciate what I give her? Do I give my things too much meaning? Will she think it is ridiculous? My upbringing has been a very artistic one. My mother is an artist, my grandmother sews, plays the piano and draws, her mother was an artist, and so on. And on my grandfather's side, even though they were more mathematical they have always found the beauty and wonder in art, like my husband. My husband however, seems to be a unique member of his family. They do not understand or appreciate art. They might see something that appeals to them but they only look at it superficially. Therefore, if I were to send her a sun for example, she would only see a small sun on a piece of fabric. I see a message of importance, life, everlasting, energy, the center, and also the desire to send her more sun, more light, more enjoyment for many years. Would she get that? Would she want to?

On another note, I have been going through my unfinished cloths, unfinished for a reason (I did not really like them) and have pulled bits a pieces out of them.

And so now I am playing with an elephant. I have been playing around with the idea of making a large cloth with the theme of sun moon and stars. This is an elph star, and I think it needs more color in addition to an eye and other things. But this is what I have in front of me this morning.

Another journal page today regarding the moon. I have not felt motivated to start on the calender, maybe it will turn out to be one of those ideas that remain ideas for a while. However, this one with the moon and the waves is making me want to sit down and sew. However, I have found some difficulty finding cleaning supplies with bleach here in my neck of the woods, because my idea is to have the waves discharged onto the fabric.

Some thing that I have realized is that I have entered a wonky phase of drawing. I have gone from realist point of view to a cartoon point of view to a wonky odd point of view, and I am truly enjoying this phase. I even find them interestingly beautiful.

What do you think?

Running through the sky

I have recently joined my fellow cloth makers on another journey with Jude, this time up in the sky. To tell you the truth that is where I normally am, among the stars and the galaxies, marveling at the history, and spinning dreams and worlds that only exist in my head. So it is very entertaining to go back up there even more so to look at the symbols and shapes that humanity has always adored and wondered about. I have already caught up with the other whisperers and my mind is full of questions. Some were Jude induced, others were already there, but finally landed on paper yesterday.

I know most of you, if there are any who still come here, are tired of me talking about being depressed and how life is sucky and what not. I know, but this time its a bit different. I have come to the revelation that in order for me to be happy and thriving and enjoying life I need to feel inspired. I need to create. I need, as we all do, a purpose. It seems odd that my purpose is to create things that maybe will never go anywhere except my own walls. Why is that? Why is that my purpose?

But back to my questions and what if's regarding the sky.

As I was watching an episode of Lost the concept of memories came about and it was said that the purpose for memories is so that one can recall the person that has left and enjoy their presence until they see them again. Sounds like a good explanation to me. But it made me wonder, what is the purpose of memories? Especially when they can be altered by perception, age, emotions, time, etc. When I began to gather ideas, or associations to the words of Sun, moon, and star (I recall fondly doing the same thing in my advanced English linguistics class....I miss college) I associated stars with memories since the night sky that we see is actually in the past because light from those stars take so long to reach us, by the time they have reached us some of them are burnt out, and only a memory on the night's surface.

As I thought about stars and their life cycles, while staring at Jude's quartered sun I wondered what would happen if I added more segments to a quartered sun? Would it look like an expanding star about to explode? I could stop time and look upon a bloated being before it disappears. I could examine that last moment of life before it vanishes and you are left with emptiness.